Did Somebody Order Housekeeping?
by de yaten
Summary: Reno promised Rude anything he wanted upon the completion of Shinra's rebuilding process, and Reno was usually a man of his word. Usually. He never quite imagined Rude wanting anything like this... :: RudeXReno:: Oneshot.


Title: Did Somebody Order Housekeeping?

Author: Digimon Empress Yaten (de yaten)

Notes: I wrote these for drabble requests I did on a livejournal community. This is the slightly (but not by much) longer and more edited version of the request I originally wrote.

Warnings/Pairings: Rude/Reno. Crossdressing Reno, a bit of language. Nothing big.

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, its characters, nor do I claim to own them. I just like to play with them from time to time.

* * *

"I'll be up in a few minutes, yo. I just gotta change my clothes real quick, got into a… ah, scrape downtown. Don't start the party without me!"

That had been ten minutes before, and Rude was damned if he wasn't going to have at least _one_ drink before Reno showed up. He smirked against his glass and took a sip. That is, if Reno even showed up at all.

He was halfway through his second glass when he heard his PHS vibrating against the leather couch. He knew it was Reno—who else would call him so late at night?—and he braced his ears against what he was sure was to be a very loud verbal beating.

"Ru—" He didn't have time to finish before Reno's voice screamed out of the receiver.

"Just where the _hell _did you put my clothes? What am I suppose to wear, you motherfu—"

"Reno."

"—cking asshole, when all my clothes are suddenly, mysteriously missing?! And damn it, Rude, those were brand new shirts too! Just you wai—"

"Reno."

"WHAT?"

"Check the back of your closet."

Rude pressed the PHS closer to his ear to catch the sound of the closet door shifting, Reno grumbling about something or other, and wait for it, wait for it—Ah. There it was. A growl of protest carried over the receiver, and Rude imagined the sweet, shocked, and possibly a little curious face that Reno must've been making.

"No. Fucking. Way."

Rude grinned against the phone.

"You said that once we were done rebuilding Shinra, you'd give me _whatever_ I wanted."

"Ruuu-uude!" He was whining and desperate now, but Rude only took another sip of his drink and waited until he heard the _click_ of Reno's belt buckle and an unmistakable sigh of defeat.

Rude snapped the PHS shut and set his glass on the wooden side table. He stretched his legs on the couch, and watched the door patiently. He figured he had about fifteen minutes, give or take, before Reno came bounding up the stairs. Then, Reno would either burst through the door and give his partner a less-than-gentle kick to the face… _or _he would come in, bitch a little, whine a little, and let Rude pound him until the neighbors complained about the noise.

Either way, one of them was going to be sore in the morning.

The clocked ticked by painfully slow, until frantic footsteps could be heard echoing against the stairs. Rude heard a loud clank, an even louder _SHIT!_ and it took Rude by no surprise when the door opened and shut in a blur of black and white and red before anyone could blink twice.

The thick booze was already going to his head, because the bald Turk couldn't hold back his chuckles when Reno tramped to stand in front of the couch, arms crossed and lips pushed out in a pout that was, angry or not, damn sexy.

The French maid uniform that was currently clinging to his hips and barely hanging over his ass –he probably flashed more than his fair share of tenants on the way up, Rude thought—definitely flattered his figure, whether Reno liked it or not. He was always a little girly, which was why Rude had picked out this particular outfit in the first place. Although, Rude mused, that red hair would look better in braided pigtails, maybe some cute little matching bows or a—Reno cleared his throat, only to be met with a sly smile and tinted sunglasses.

It was too bad Reno didn't look nearly as amused as his partner at the situation.

_Oh well_, Rude thought. _No point in wasting any more time._ He pulled an ominous black paddle from its resting place next to the couch, and patted his knees.

He grinned.

"Come to Daddy."

Reno rolled his eyes but let Rude shift him into a position on his stomach, awkwardly shifting so the strong knees didn't push into his gut.

"I'll get you back for this, you know."

Rude quirked an eyebrow and said nothing as the first _thwack _nearly knocked Reno to the floor.


End file.
